Monday...yuck! I don't like Mondays, like at all...I miss my husband on Mondays, everybody and their mom has a dire eyeball emergency on Mondays and I have to deal with them, and I'm just generally in a bad mood on Mondays. I had a glorious weekend again, so I can't complain about that. I did a lot of reading outside on my porch in the beautiful warm weather, David and I walked to a little downtown icecream shop, we had a cookout with friends...all good things, and then Monday comes around and the goodness of the weekend is suddenly erased.
I'm grouchy today I guess.
I heard back about the job (finally) but it wasn't great news. I didn't get it, but on the up side it's not because of me, it's because I work for a company that does a lot of referrals to the company I interviewed with and they didn't want any "bad blood" between them because of me. Surprisingly I'm not as broken up about it as I thought I would be...I mean honestly, it was just a step up from a job that I really don't like in the first place, so once that honeymoon phase was over I'd be miserable again. I need to find a job that I LOVE, although I'm not quite sure what that might be...besides being a bum and reading book after book and watching YouTube beauty videos. I have been searching for what it is that I would truly enjoy as my profession since high school and I still haven't found it...I feel like a lost little girl when it comes to what I want to be when I grow up...and I'm 25, so you would think I'd know by now. I need to find what it is I'm passionate about, and make that my vocation...the trick is finding what I'm passionate about, which you would think would be obvious, but it's not. I'm passionless. I take that back, because I love being a wife, and I would love love love to be able to take care of our home because it seriously gets put on the backburner more than it should until both David and I are frustrated with the state of our home and each other for not having the time to clean it up except for weekends which is when we want to do nothing and relax and wind down from the week and...yeah. That job doesn't pay the bills though...so the search continues I guess.
My parent's 29th wedding anniversary was yesterday, and I called my mom to wish them a happy anniversary and we got to talking about how strange our family is. I have two sets of grandparents, both of which have been married for 50+ years, my parents have been married for 29 years, and all of their brothers and sisters have been married for a lot of years too...with no divorces ANYWHERE in my immediate family tree. We are the "typical" family except that the "typical" famly isn't at all "typical", so I guess that just makes us weird. Now granted, I am the oldest of all of my cousins and the very first to be married, so you never know what might happen when all of my cousins grow up and get married themselves...however, we were raised with strong Christian values and we have great examples of successful marriages all around us, so honestly I think we will continue the tradition that my grandparents started. Just another reason that I love my family, and I miss seeing that big old bunch of weirdos...:)
Monday, March 21, 2011
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Crackle polish, a 10K, rental homes, and new opportunities...
I didn't hear anything about the job yet...I spent the entirety of my workday Friday with my iPhone shoved in the back pocket of my skinny jeans (which was no small feat), ignoring the fact that it gave me an obvious "square butt" effect, as well as the enormous amount of discomfort I endured when sitting, in hopes that it would start vibrating uncontrollably, at which point I would excuse myself from the exam room, run like I had serious bowel issues to the bathroom, and hear the wonderful words "You got the job!" come from the other end of the phone line. But no. I have to continue practicing the virtue of patience...darn.
My husband and I were approached to be the leaders of a community group at church again today, and it really is flattering that people see us and view us as a strong Christian couple capable of leading a small group. We were community group leaders once before when our church made its feeble first attempt at starting small groups, and it went pretty well until the only unmarried couple in our group went through a bitter break up, which essentially shattered our group into pieces. Now, our church has come back with an even stronger purpose and direction for small groups, and David and I have been content to sit back and let someone else with more experience in marriage and in leading take the reins. But today our group leader approached us and asked us to consider leading a group ourselves...he said they would hate to lose us in their group, but the church is in need of new leaders and they immediately thought of us. Now I am not naiive...I know that we have only been married for 2 1/2 years and we haven't even begun to see hard times yet, so we can begin to pretend that we are experts at marriage...but I also know that my marriage rocks and it shows. We're not perfect, we fight about stupid things, and there are a lot of things that we can and need to improve upon. (For instance I am insanely uncomfortable praying in front of my husband. For some reason opening my heart up to God and having someone else hear it, especially someone I love so much and want to impress, is very intimidating for me.) But we do know how to love each other unconditionally, no matter how ugly we act towards each other, we know how to work through our issues (even if it gets messy) and not just sweep them under the rug "for another day", we know that no matter what the word "divorce" will never be in our vocabulary...even in the middle of a knock-down-drag-out fight that word never EVER makes an appearance, and we know that no matter how much we may try, we are never going to completely fulfill each other's every need. The only one who can do that is the Lord himself, and ,not to be cute, that really takes a "burden" off of our shoulders.
So who knows, maybe we are ready to break free and make another attempt at leading a group again. Like every other big decision that comes our way, we'll make it a matter of prayer, and we have confidence that we will be led in the right direction.
Otherwise, this has been a glorious weekend so far...70 degrees, sun shining, driving around town with my sunroof open...*sigh of delight*. And my WONDERFUL husband, who does not in the least bit understand my obsession with nail polish but embraces it as a part of who I am, drove me all the way to the next town over to their Sally's Beauty Supply (because the one in my town SUCKS and never has any of the new nail polish collections that I drool over) so that I could buy some of China Glaze's new Crackle collection. I decided (after much deliberation) on three colors of crackly goodness, all of which are amazing, but I think I need to go back again today because there is one that I literally lost sleep over because I passed it up (gosh I have issues). Anyways, this pretty much triples my already gi-normous collection of nail polish and I think I sat for at least a half an hour deciding what kind of manicure I would give myself last night...this is what I came up with:
China Glaze Crushed Candy Crackle over China Glaze Something Sweet
David and I are looking to upgrade from our 1 bedroom apartment to a rental home. The only thing that I really want in a rental house is a 2 bedroom place with a fenced in backyard for our dog to play in...I'm easy to please. The hard part is finding such a place. We thought we found one the other day, but when we were given the grand tour we quickly discovered that there were not 2 bedrooms but 3, which instantly made my heart sink because I knew it would be out of our price range...and it was. The renters liked us a lot and tried really hard to get us to a point where we might be able to rent it by dropping the price waaaay down...and it was really hard to give up. It was adorable, a good deal, in a great part of town, within walking distance of David's school, and it had the perfect backyard for our dog...darn that third bedroom! I couldn't sleep one night because I was pouring through all of the financial scenarios that would allow us to snatch up the house, and I came up with some...unfortunately my hubby wasn't all about my ideas because all of them included us using my paycheck to help out and he is determined that we live off of just his one paycheck until we have our student loans paid off. I know that's the smart thing to do, but MAN I would love to stop being smart for a change! Oh well, the hunt continues...I mean that is the first and only house we've looked it, and just because it happend to be pretty darn near perfect doesn't mean we won't find one that is ABSOLUTELY perfect, right?
I think I may be running a 10K in two weeks, which would be my first race ever (unless you count the 5K I walked in college in order to get extra credit from one of my professors)...my running buddy and I are trying to decide if we can make it 6.2 miles or not, especially since yesterday we had every intention of running 5 miles but decided somewhere in the middle that we would probably die if we didn't cut it back to 4. But let me tell you, regardless of our lack of dedication to stick with the distance we decide on, it is such a breath of fresh air to run with her...I used to run with my husband when he was training for his marathon and it was great to get to spend that time with him exercising and being healthy, but my goodness did he run fast. When I run, I run to get healthy and aim to finish well, but when I ran with him I usually finished barely able to breathe, hunched over, and hurting everywhere. With my running pal, we maintain a speed that allows us to talk the whole time, which makes the run go by soooo much faster AND we don't feel like we're going to collapse in a pile at the end. So we'll see how that goes.
My husband and I were approached to be the leaders of a community group at church again today, and it really is flattering that people see us and view us as a strong Christian couple capable of leading a small group. We were community group leaders once before when our church made its feeble first attempt at starting small groups, and it went pretty well until the only unmarried couple in our group went through a bitter break up, which essentially shattered our group into pieces. Now, our church has come back with an even stronger purpose and direction for small groups, and David and I have been content to sit back and let someone else with more experience in marriage and in leading take the reins. But today our group leader approached us and asked us to consider leading a group ourselves...he said they would hate to lose us in their group, but the church is in need of new leaders and they immediately thought of us. Now I am not naiive...I know that we have only been married for 2 1/2 years and we haven't even begun to see hard times yet, so we can begin to pretend that we are experts at marriage...but I also know that my marriage rocks and it shows. We're not perfect, we fight about stupid things, and there are a lot of things that we can and need to improve upon. (For instance I am insanely uncomfortable praying in front of my husband. For some reason opening my heart up to God and having someone else hear it, especially someone I love so much and want to impress, is very intimidating for me.) But we do know how to love each other unconditionally, no matter how ugly we act towards each other, we know how to work through our issues (even if it gets messy) and not just sweep them under the rug "for another day", we know that no matter what the word "divorce" will never be in our vocabulary...even in the middle of a knock-down-drag-out fight that word never EVER makes an appearance, and we know that no matter how much we may try, we are never going to completely fulfill each other's every need. The only one who can do that is the Lord himself, and ,not to be cute, that really takes a "burden" off of our shoulders.
So who knows, maybe we are ready to break free and make another attempt at leading a group again. Like every other big decision that comes our way, we'll make it a matter of prayer, and we have confidence that we will be led in the right direction.
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Just in case I don't feel like blogging in a couple of days...
So I had my interview, and I won't be hearing about the job either way until Friday...so I figured that just in case my hopes of getting this job crash and burn in a giant fireball and I spend the whole weekend upset and in my jammies on the couch, I figured I'd better blog.
I've really started to hate the question, "So how'd the interview go?" I mean, I guess it went ok...I tried to present myself honestly while still making myself sound awesome and like a perfect fit for their company. I didn't say anything strange or talk about buttcracks. I dressed impressively, did my makeup in a subtle but still attractive way, and I even changed my nail polish for the occasion.
Other than that, I had a fantastic weekend! David and I spent Friday night in, watching a movie and eating a meal from Tokyo Express (yum). Saturday I went for a run with a good friend, and was quite impressed that I made it 4 miles without collapsing and dying at the end considering this is only the second time I have run since I took a 3 month break from it when the time changed. When I got back, my wonderful hubby surprised me with dinner reservations at a fancy restaurant. I ordered the butternut squash ravioli, and I think at one point I commented that it was one of the best things I have ever put in my mouth...so yeah, it was good. And Sunday I worked the cafe at church and when we got home I think I took at 2-3 hour nap.
I just remembered, there was on thing about the weekend that sucked...we took David's car for an oil change, and ended up spending close to $900 dollars to fix his breaks. Apparently they were only a few stops away from him careening out of control through a red stoplight, so I'm glad we had it done. It was just very unexpected and VERY expensive because of the extent of the damage. Fortunately, we have an emergency fund set up for just such an occasion, so we're really not taking a major blow from this unexpected expense...but still.
We have used our emergency fund a total of three times, and all for this same car...and yet we keep fooling ourselves into thinking that THIS will be the last major repair the car will need and now it will run like it floats through the air on angels' wings. We have considered moving closer to my parents for the simple fact that my dad knows how to fix cars...it's quite a relocation, but it might just be worth it at this point. My dad is not a mechanic by trade, but when your mid-life crisis includes buying a junky '67 Mustang and restoring it to pristine condition all on your own, you become a mechanic of sorts. Before I moved to the south, my dad fixed all of my car issues and all I had to buy was the part...and that would be awesome right about now considering the most recent car bill we paid was about $800 labor, $70 parts.
I've really started to hate the question, "So how'd the interview go?" I mean, I guess it went ok...I tried to present myself honestly while still making myself sound awesome and like a perfect fit for their company. I didn't say anything strange or talk about buttcracks. I dressed impressively, did my makeup in a subtle but still attractive way, and I even changed my nail polish for the occasion.
Before: China Glaze Bahamian Escape w/ China Glaze White Cap on the ring finger
After: China Glaze Knotty
But, truthfully I won't really know how the interview went until I hear about the job...I have no idea what kind of impression I left with the powers that be, all I know is I tried my best to impress them and that's all I can do.Other than that, I had a fantastic weekend! David and I spent Friday night in, watching a movie and eating a meal from Tokyo Express (yum). Saturday I went for a run with a good friend, and was quite impressed that I made it 4 miles without collapsing and dying at the end considering this is only the second time I have run since I took a 3 month break from it when the time changed. When I got back, my wonderful hubby surprised me with dinner reservations at a fancy restaurant. I ordered the butternut squash ravioli, and I think at one point I commented that it was one of the best things I have ever put in my mouth...so yeah, it was good. And Sunday I worked the cafe at church and when we got home I think I took at 2-3 hour nap.
I just remembered, there was on thing about the weekend that sucked...we took David's car for an oil change, and ended up spending close to $900 dollars to fix his breaks. Apparently they were only a few stops away from him careening out of control through a red stoplight, so I'm glad we had it done. It was just very unexpected and VERY expensive because of the extent of the damage. Fortunately, we have an emergency fund set up for just such an occasion, so we're really not taking a major blow from this unexpected expense...but still.
We have used our emergency fund a total of three times, and all for this same car...and yet we keep fooling ourselves into thinking that THIS will be the last major repair the car will need and now it will run like it floats through the air on angels' wings. We have considered moving closer to my parents for the simple fact that my dad knows how to fix cars...it's quite a relocation, but it might just be worth it at this point. My dad is not a mechanic by trade, but when your mid-life crisis includes buying a junky '67 Mustang and restoring it to pristine condition all on your own, you become a mechanic of sorts. Before I moved to the south, my dad fixed all of my car issues and all I had to buy was the part...and that would be awesome right about now considering the most recent car bill we paid was about $800 labor, $70 parts.
My hubby's masculinity takes a hit everytime something goes wrong with our cars because he doesn't know the last thing about how to fix them. It's not his fault, his dad is a pastor and the main skill he taught David was how to carry on a conversation with just about anyone. Even under my dad's daily influence, I know nothing about cars AND I have awkward social skills...so at least David learned something from his dad.
Not to say that I learned nothing from my dad...he's an accountant, and I'm pretty good with numbers and stuff...
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
A day to myself, and other happy news...
Guess who doesn't have work today? This girl! That's right, one glorious day away from my boss and coworkers and grumpy patients because the boss is out of town, and with no doctor there really is no use for the rest of us to be at work! And, don't get me wrong I love my husband dearly, but I rarely get the whole apartment to myself without him around so it's kinda nice to be here alone for a change. I can redecorate without him questioning my choices, I can watch makeup videos on YouTube and not get picked on, I can paint my nails without him sighing and saying "didn't you just paint your nails last week?", I can workout to a Denise Austin Yoga DVD without his probing eyes watching my every awkward move...it will be a great day!
Adding to the greatness that is this day is this little nugget...I finally got a call about an interview for a job I applied for back in December. (Apparently it took awhile for them to sift through all the resumes?) Anyway, I have an interview later this week for a job that is not so different from the one I'm currently in (however, the reason I hate my job is most definitely my boss so anything away from him would be a step up), except it would be part-time and there would be a definite salary advantage. I have been waiting for something that could possibly take me away from my current job for two years now, and I really and truly hope that this is my chance. With this part-time job I could go back to school to advance my degree (or completely change it if I wanted to) while still being able to pay my husband's student loans, which is currently the only thing my income is being used for. The benefits would be better, and I am absolutely certain the leadership in the office would be better. I'm just trying not to set myself up for disappointment...
I have told my husband a hundred and a half times that if God has a plan for you there is nothing that you can possibly do to screw it up...so, if I listen to myself, I know that when I go into that interview, if His plan is for me to FINALLY get a new job then there is nothing that I can say in that interview that will completely ruin my chances (unless I go completely insane and start babbling about farts, butt cracks, and boobies). However, what if this ISN'T His plan for me? What if I'm barking up the wrong tree and I end up spending two more years working in this place that I cannot stand?
I have been extraordinarily patient when it comes to finding a new job. I have been rejected from even getting an interview more times that I can count, and yet I have kept applying. There have been moments when I wanted to give up and just resign myself to the fact that I would just have to continue to work where I am until David and I move away, but I never gave up trying. I believe that God has a reason for placing me where I am, and if I that's where I need to stay, I'll stay. But I can't help but hope that there is something else out there for me, and that the something else comes by way of this job possibility.
So, if anyone does actually read this, please pray for me on Friday. Pray that I will either get this job, or that I will have the grace and the strength to accept the fact that my work at the old one just isn't finished yet.
Adding to the greatness that is this day is this little nugget...I finally got a call about an interview for a job I applied for back in December. (Apparently it took awhile for them to sift through all the resumes?) Anyway, I have an interview later this week for a job that is not so different from the one I'm currently in (however, the reason I hate my job is most definitely my boss so anything away from him would be a step up), except it would be part-time and there would be a definite salary advantage. I have been waiting for something that could possibly take me away from my current job for two years now, and I really and truly hope that this is my chance. With this part-time job I could go back to school to advance my degree (or completely change it if I wanted to) while still being able to pay my husband's student loans, which is currently the only thing my income is being used for. The benefits would be better, and I am absolutely certain the leadership in the office would be better. I'm just trying not to set myself up for disappointment...
I have told my husband a hundred and a half times that if God has a plan for you there is nothing that you can possibly do to screw it up...so, if I listen to myself, I know that when I go into that interview, if His plan is for me to FINALLY get a new job then there is nothing that I can say in that interview that will completely ruin my chances (unless I go completely insane and start babbling about farts, butt cracks, and boobies). However, what if this ISN'T His plan for me? What if I'm barking up the wrong tree and I end up spending two more years working in this place that I cannot stand?
I have been extraordinarily patient when it comes to finding a new job. I have been rejected from even getting an interview more times that I can count, and yet I have kept applying. There have been moments when I wanted to give up and just resign myself to the fact that I would just have to continue to work where I am until David and I move away, but I never gave up trying. I believe that God has a reason for placing me where I am, and if I that's where I need to stay, I'll stay. But I can't help but hope that there is something else out there for me, and that the something else comes by way of this job possibility.
So, if anyone does actually read this, please pray for me on Friday. Pray that I will either get this job, or that I will have the grace and the strength to accept the fact that my work at the old one just isn't finished yet.
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