I killed a squirrel last week, and it just about ruined my will to ever drive again.
There I was, driving my car, singing along with whatever uplifting song K-Love was playing at the time, when this scrawny, scraggly squirrel crawled into the road. The squirrel was definitely not the picture of health, but having dealt with squirrels on the road since I got my license to drive, I assumed even this sickly little thing would spring out of the way of my oncoming vehicle. But, just to be on the safe side, I slowed down the car in order to give the squirrel ample time to escape...but it didn't. I started to panic as I got closer to the squirrel, knowing that it would be ridiculous to wreck my car for the sake of a wild animal but at the same time not wanting to hurt it. I actually shouted "MOVE SQUIRREL!!!" out the window of my car at what I believed was it's last possible moment of escape. It did not listen. I arranged my front tires so that the squirrel was not squashed under them, but as it was passing under the car I heard the dreaded "thunk". I looked in my rear view mirror, and that was definitely a big mistake. I saw the squirrel thrashing and convulsing in the middle of the road, and I believe it was at this point that I started to sob and pray for God's forgiveness for not only killing the squirrel, but for causing it to suffer such a painful death. I barely made it home with my tear filled eyes blurring my vision, and when I got home I whimpered pitifully on the couch until my husband finally got home. I recounted the whole grisly tale to him, and he smiled as he wrapped me in his arms and assured me that I did everything I could, offered to pray with me about it, and commented that he thought I was adorable for being so concerned about what was probably a very sick or old squirrel. Then he wiped away my tears, kissed me on the nose, and took me to get a Krispy Kreme donut. (I love him by the way!)
I know people run over animals all the time, in fact it is astonishing how much roadkill I see everyday on my short 5 minute drive to work, but this was my very first animal fatality and it really bummed me out. My dad has run over more than his fair share of animals, including, but not limited to, squirrel, raccoon, possum, deer, and most recently a dog, but it never really seems to effect him. (Let me be clear, my dad does not go out of his way to run over animals...quite the opposite, he happens to be very particular and uber-cautious with his cars, which I think makes him a prime target for animals with death wishes.) Maybe it's just a guy thing...a guy I was dating (who happened to have a burning hatred for possums) was driving me home one time, and an unknowing possum crossed our path...it tried to escape, but that boy actually took his vehicle off-roading to hit the thing. He was completely un-remorseful...I bawled. He felt really guilty, and promised that the next time he saw a possum when I was in the car he would let it go...I never gave him the opportunity. Dead animals just make me sad.
Anyways, this happened days ago, and I'm just now over it enough to write about it. I'm beginning to notice a pattern here in my last few posts...I think I may have a tendency to obsess over things...?
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